The Deadbeat dad
There are two types of divorced fathers. The ones who support their children and the Deadbeat dads.
This article is about one particular deadbeat dad, myself. I have read about divorces and the messy divorces is about a lot of things but sometimes a "messy" divorce hurts the children. Fortunately my divorce was not messy like the Recent Santa Monica Killer who was a child from a "messy" divorce. Let me say that no divorce is thoroughly planned.
My daughters had not a step dad but extended family. They had a father figure in my brother in law and also help from their grandmother. My ex wife and I were not perfect but it was fortunate for them to have a great family backup. It was not easy for my ex wife to provide for her family and yes she got some money help from my brother. But basically no financial help from myself and no family visits by myself to the daughters.
There is one school of thought where the father should have visitation rights but doesn't that send mixed signals to the children? A father that disappears may or may not be better depending on the case. Most children wish that their parents do get back together.
The signals was that we were never to be getting back together. I am glad my ex wife has a relationship with someone else. But what about the kids?
This is not rationalizing but some observations. My two daughters became professionals (one an engineer and the other a doctor). One is married and this year the doctor is getting married. I did not attend the wedding of the first to be married but I also realize I have no role in giving the bride away.
The second daughter I also have no role in giving her away. (yes I already have done so in a way). I can only pat myself on the back for not being a jerk or douchebag in the divorce. Good luck my daughters, may life spare you the choice of divorce.
This article is about one particular deadbeat dad, myself. I have read about divorces and the messy divorces is about a lot of things but sometimes a "messy" divorce hurts the children. Fortunately my divorce was not messy like the Recent Santa Monica Killer who was a child from a "messy" divorce. Let me say that no divorce is thoroughly planned.
My daughters had not a step dad but extended family. They had a father figure in my brother in law and also help from their grandmother. My ex wife and I were not perfect but it was fortunate for them to have a great family backup. It was not easy for my ex wife to provide for her family and yes she got some money help from my brother. But basically no financial help from myself and no family visits by myself to the daughters.
There is one school of thought where the father should have visitation rights but doesn't that send mixed signals to the children? A father that disappears may or may not be better depending on the case. Most children wish that their parents do get back together.
The signals was that we were never to be getting back together. I am glad my ex wife has a relationship with someone else. But what about the kids?
This is not rationalizing but some observations. My two daughters became professionals (one an engineer and the other a doctor). One is married and this year the doctor is getting married. I did not attend the wedding of the first to be married but I also realize I have no role in giving the bride away.
The second daughter I also have no role in giving her away. (yes I already have done so in a way). I can only pat myself on the back for not being a jerk or douchebag in the divorce. Good luck my daughters, may life spare you the choice of divorce.
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